2010商务英语考试名师点评网友作文(2)

2010商务英语考试名师点评网友作文(2)

Formulate a smoking policy for your office which is fair to both smokers and nonsmokers. Write a 40-50 word memo informing all staff of the policy. #

老师提示： #

我们需要确定，如果我是公司职员，我要在这篇memo中获得什么信息?是不是要知道： #

1.新的吸烟政策从什么时候开始; #

2.吸烟区划定在什么地方?

网友作文一： #

TO: All Employees #

FROM: CEO, Willan Smith #

SUBJECT: NEW SMOKING POLICY

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For all the employees, especially smokers,[1] plz be aware that our company's new smoking policy has been formulated as follow: A main smoking area's going to be restricted before Next MONDAY[2], anyone is not allowed to smoker in non-smoking zone even in the washing room.[3] #

Plz target the smoking and non-smoking area and stick to the company's new policy.[4] #

Thx.

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[1]去掉，抬头已经写过给所有的员工，所以直接从正文开始就行了，费这个事干什么? #

[2]时间不确切，最好是 from next Monday. Before 这个期限是什么时候?如果不能给出确切信息，就不要说，还不如换成具体的吸烟区域更好: be restricted to the room next to the toilet. #

[3]你经常在洗手间吸烟吗?或者你们公司有这样的同事?把这句话去掉。

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[4]添加：to ensure that it is fair to all of you.

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网友作文二：

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To: All staff #

From: Hope0068

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Everybody know that smoking is dangerous for your health. And the The studies didn't just point to the ill effects of smoking on those who smoke--non-smokers, too. [1] Notice is hereby given that the smoking area is located in the special corner[2] of the first floor of this building. This come into force on[3] September 15th.

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Thanks. #

[1]Memo 的主要作用就是提醒同事们注意事项，这和吸烟有多有害不相干，去掉。改为：to assure working environment

[2]一般的公司都应该给个room #

[3]from

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网友作文三：

memorandum

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to : all the staff #

from : jeremy #

subjuect : new somking policy #

do you have a feeling that our office is surrounding by smog all the day, [1]so we will implemented a[2] new policy for somking ,from next week[3] ,we will open an area[4] for the smoking ,and other area is rescricting to smoke ,also there is a punishment when we find you smoke in these area [5] #

thank you #

[1]去掉来 #

[2]we will implement a

[3]Next Monday

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[4]在哪里啊? #

[5]关于惩罚，最好不提。

网友作文四：

to: All Staff

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from: Susuan Wu #

To creat a nonsmoking office room, we hope that smoking is forbidden in the work office from Sep.1st. Would you please enjoy your smoking in the Launch by closing the office door. #

Thank you for your coperation.

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整体很干脆，但是语气比较客气，而且没有看出是公司新政策的实行啊! #

网友作文五：

To: All staff #

From: Sarah Buffay #

As you all know, there is an increasing dispute about smoking in the office. Now we'd like to formulate a policy both fair to smokers and nonsmokers: The vacant room 408 will be opened as "Smoking Room" from tomorrow. All smokers may go there within the time limitation from 9:00a.m. to 4:00p.m. But smokers are not allowed to smoke outside this room.[1]

If you have any problems, please contact me. [2]

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[1]去掉。

[2]这是信件的结尾，不是memo的，直接用thank you 就可以

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