2010商务英语考试名师点评网友作文(3)
2010商务英语考试名师点评网友作文(3)
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Formulate a smoking policy for your office which is fair to both smokers and nonsmokers. Write a 40-50 word memo informing all staff of the policy.
老师提示:
我们需要确定,如果我是公司职员,我要在这篇memo中获得什么信息?是不是要知道: #
1.新的吸烟政策从什么时候开始; #
2.吸烟区划定在什么地方? #
网友作文一:
TO: All Employees #
FROM: CEO, Willan Smith #
SUBJECT: NEW SMOKING POLICY
For all the employees, especially smokers,[1] plz be aware that our company's new smoking policy has been formulated as follow: A main smoking area's going to be restricted before Next MONDAY[2], anyone is not allowed to smoker in non-smoking zone even in the washing room.[3]
Plz target the smoking and non-smoking area and stick to the company's new policy.[4] #
Thx.
[1]去掉,抬头已经写过给所有的员工,所以直接从正文开始就行了,费这个事干什么? #
[2]时间不确切,最好是 from next Monday. Before 这个期限是什么时候?如果不能给出确切信息,就不要说,还不如换成具体的吸烟区域更好: be restricted to the room next to the toilet. #
[3]你经常在洗手间吸烟吗?或者你们公司有这样的同事?把这句话去掉。
[4]添加:to ensure that it is fair to all of you.
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网友作文二: #
To: All staff #
From: Hope0068 #
Everybody know that smoking is dangerous for your health. And the The studies didn't just point to the ill effects of smoking on those who smoke--non-smokers, too. [1] Notice is hereby given that the smoking area is located in the special corner[2] of the first floor of this building. This come into force on[3] September 15th.
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Thanks. #
[1]Memo 的主要作用就是提醒同事们注意事项,这和吸烟有多有害不相干,去掉。改为:to assure working environment #
[2]一般的公司都应该给个room #
[3]from
网友作文三:
memorandum #
to : all the staff #
from : jeremyhttp://ks.exam8.com #
subjuect : new somking policy #
do you have a feeling that our office is surrounding by smog all the day, [1]so we will implemented a[2] new policy for somking ,from next week[3] ,we will open an area[4] for the smoking ,and other area is rescricting to smoke ,also there is a punishment when we find you smoke in these area [5]
thank you
[1]去掉
[2]we will implement a #
[3]Next Monday #
[4]在哪里啊? #
[5]关于惩罚,最好不提。
网友作文四: #
to: All Staffwww.wangxiao.cn #
from: Susuan Wu
To creat a nonsmoking office room, we hope that smoking is forbidden in the work office from Sep.1st. Would you please enjoy your smoking in the Launch by closing the office door.
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Thank you for your coperation.
整体很干脆,但是语气比较客气,而且没有看出是公司新政策的实行啊!
网友作文五:
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To: All staff #
From: Sarah Buffay
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As you all know, there is an increasing dispute about smoking in the office. Now we'd like to formulate a policy both fair to smokers and nonsmokers: The vacant room 408 will be opened as "Smoking Room" from tomorrow. All smokers may go there within the time limitation from 9:00a.m. to 4:00p.m. But smokers are not allowed to smoke outside this room.[1]
If you have any problems, please contact me. [2] #
[1]去掉。
[2]这是信件的结尾,不是memo的,直接用thank you 就可以 #